Here are some general rules to follow when setting your table. To help keep you from being intimidated by the rules of etiquette, we offer you some guidelines to help you create the tabletop that best reflects the meal you have planned.
In general:
At most formal dinner parties a service plate or charger is placed at each guest's place, then taken from the table when the first-course plates are removed. If you're not using a service plate, then set dinner plates at each setting. If salad will be served as a first course, place the salad plate on the dinner plate. If table space allows, the salad plate can be arranged to the left of the forks. Your place knives are set to the immediate right of the dinner plate, blades facing the plate. The soup spoon, if needed, goes to the right of all knives. Forks are placed to the left of the dinner plate in the order of their use, from the outside toward the plate. If the salad is served European style, after the entr�e, place the salad fork to the right of the place fork, next to the plate. If you are setting a salad knife, place it on the right of the plate to correspond with the placement of the salad fork. The only exception to "forks on the left" is if you are in the need of an oyster or shellfish fork. The oyster fork is placed on the right side of the dinner plate, to the right of the knives. Dessert spoons and forks can be placed horizontally above the dinner plate or can be brought to the table with the dessert plates. Water goblets should be set just above the top of the place knife. The wine glass, red or white, is placed slightly to the right of the water goblet. When using both red and white wine glasses, place them to the right of the water goblet, red then white. Place a Champagne flute behind the other two wine glasses, forming a triangle. A cup and saucer are not part of a formal place setting. They should be brought to the table along with the teaspoon and the dessert plate. Don�t forget about your napkin. Arrange a folded napkin down the center of the top plate. If soup bowl is set on the top plate, then place the folded napkin to the left of your forks.
Casual Dinners
The bread and butter plate is optional at an informal dinner party. If you are planning to use a bread and butter plate, place it to the upper left of the dinner plate and lay the butter spreader horizontally across the plate, with the blade facing the plate. Place knives are set to the immediate right of the dinner plate, blades facing the plate. A soup spoon, if needed, is set to the right of all knives. Forks are placed to the left of the dinner plate in the order of their use, from the outside toward the plate. Dessert spoons and forks can be brought to the table with the dessert plates. Water goblets should be set just above the top of the place knife. The wine glass is placed slightly to the right of the water goblet. A cup and saucer can be brought to the table along with the teaspoon with dessert. Place a folded napkin to the left of your forks.
Buffets
When using a round table, mirror the assortment on each half of the table and place the courses in the same order, so guests keep moving clockwise to the left. Another popular approach, "the three-sided buffet," involves the use of a rectangle table against a wall. Traffic should flow in just one direction through the buffet, allowing you to use just one dish for each assortment. Whichever option you choose, arrange the meal in the following order: Dinner plates, stacked with a maximum of 12 plates per stack; hot main course, preferably in a chafing dish; second entr�e (optional); vegetable; salad; relish tray, olives, or nuts (optional); breads; flatware; folded dinner-size napkins. Napkins can also be stacked between the plates or wrapped around the flatware. Beverages and glassware should be placed along with coffee and dessert service on a separate table so guests may help themselves.